Run, Jacob! Hide! It's the... unnamed goop monster guy thing! I was testing out a new shader I bought and, while he still needs quite a bit of tweaking, I'm happy with what emerged from the goopy mess.
He takes a long, long, freaking long time to render compared to what I'm used to -- especially when I tested him as semi-transparent. I may end up making him more like a gelatin whenever I get around to using him again, but for now I wanted to post his test for you guys.
Update: I went ahead and added transparency to him after running a few more tests. I think he may still need some more work, but I managed to find a good balance of opacity. When I end up doing something like this in the future, I'll add more goop around him so it looks like he's dripping the slime he's made from.