Friday, December 7, 2012

Eternian Wrestling League Promo Poster

I was looking at some old professional wrestling promotional posters recently.  There's one of Hulk Hogan waving the American flag that reminds me a lot of the covers of old wrestling games I used to play (and still do!).  And the first WrestleMania promo with him and Mr. T is just awesome.  But as I went through a bunch of them, I couldn't help but notice how hokey and gaudy these used to be.  So, of course, I wanted to make my own!

This one stars He-Man and his beefy daddy, King Randor.  They're in the ring facing Skeletor and He-Man's strangely-colored doppelganger, Faker.  Our heroes here are the current tag team champions of the Eternian Wrestling League and have agreed to lay their titles on the line for this loser-gets-fucked match.  They named their group The Royal Pains (funny, huh?), while the two blue-hued bad guys have come together as The Dark Duo.

I'd like to think that King Randor would be cool enough to take his crown off, put a thong over his big prince-maker, and join He-Man in the squared circle to wrestle the villains that regularly threaten their kingdom.

Man, this poster is incredibly silly and flamboyant.  But even though I won't be making it into an actual story (at least not in the foreseeable future), I enjoyed putting it together for you guys.

...But wait!  The Eternian Wrestling League has just issued a statement on the aftermath of the match!  It appears that He-Man and King Randor have been defeated and stripped of their tag team championship titles!  The statement reads as follows:

The Royal Pains were defeated earlier this evening in what can only be described as an incredible upset!  Fans were shocked to witness He-Man, hero of Eternia, surrender in Skeletor's bone-crushing bearhug!  King Randor, caught in Faker's brutal camel clutch, was utterly powerless to prevent his partner's submission!

The victorious villain cackled madly as he slid his erection into He-Man's beaten backside!  One League cameraman described the hero's expression as, "first shock, then grim acceptance"!  Fans sat stunned as they watched the spectacle unfold!

King Randor was put through the humiliation of having to lick clean the sweat from between Faker's toned buttocks.  His highness appeared visibly shaken throughout the ordeal, but several fans noted that the king's mighty maleness hardened and leaked during the task!

An exhausted He-Man and King Randor were carried off by Beast Man and Tri-Klops; neither wrestler has been seen since tonight's remarkable upset!  General Duncan of the Royal Palace refused requests for an interview, but did state that he was "disappointed" with He-Man's performance and "devastated" by the outcome.

The Eternian Wrestling League will keep its fans up to date when and if Skeletor and Faker decide to release the former tag team champions!

That evil Skeletor!  Who knows what he and the other villains will do to He-Man and King Randor!


  1. Hey lucky stallion,

    I really do enjoy your ideas and artwork!
    Great job!

    I would like to present you with a (wrestling) story idea concerning Eternia as I am a big He-Man fan. It involves He-Man, Skeletor, Kobra Khan and other characters of the MOTU universe.

    Maybe you could tell me an e-mail address so that I can send you the story outline... I would also be willing to help you with the text for the art if you decided to turn my fantasy into reality and needed some help...

    Please let me know if you are interested... just reply to this post ...

    Your great fan


    1. Hey there, MM,

      Thanks for your kind words and for commenting! I'm always glad to hear about when you guys enjoy what I'm doing.

      I sometimes take on story suggestions when they're within my ability, but unfortunately, I don't think I can do most of the other MOTU characters justice right now.

      Thanks for the offer, though. Best of luck with your story!

  2. mm = monstarmaster (my nick name)

  3. I love it! We need *More Randor*... I'll accept all praise for my poeticism.

  4. I will post the story outline that I created...even though lucky stallion will probably not make a wrestling comic out of it (unfortunately)... I would have liked to include Bomani as well, but this guy is lucky stallion's character and I dont want to infringe on his "copyright" ;-)

    Kobra Khan breaks out of the Eternian prison and joins Skeletor at Snake Mountain. There, studying the history of the Snakemen while feigning allegiance to the Overlord of Evil he gets to know about the power of his snake amulet and he uses it to enhance his powers exponentially (at his will). He keeps this discovery secret for the moment while dreaming about leading the Snakemen in the conquest of Eternia. He finds out about the Void and that it was sealed by magic with the help of Zodak's staff. This staff is the key to opening the Void beneath Snake Mountain. However, he knows that he is no match for the magical powers of the imprisoned King Hiss yet to challenge his leadership if Hiss was to be freed from the Void right now...

    But Kobra Khan wants to free some of his fellow snakeman to be the foundation of his future army (knowing that the snakemen have a codex to follow and obey the most powerful warrior of their kind who is available). After wrestling against Zodak and overpowering him with a final sleeperhold to gain his staff (while imprisoning the unconscious Cosmic Enforcer within Snake Mountain) he persuades Skeletor to "recruit" some snakemen from the Void. Khan wants to accomplish this using the staff and Skeletor's magic - while warning the latter not to free Hiss who might endager Skeletor's leadership.

    With the help of Skeletor (and maybe Evil-Lyn) Rattlor, Tongue Lashor and Squeeze are freed from the Void and it is closed again. The freed Snakemen refuse Skeletor's offer to work for him stating that "a snakeman serves noone but another snakeman". Before Skeletor can blast them for their impudence Khan argues that they could serve him while he stays in Skeletor's services. Rattlor etc. are amused about the cheekiness of Khan and say that they will never bow to a "weakling" like him. Khan challenges them to one-by-one (wrestling) matches to prove his superiority. They accept... Khan wins the fights gaining strength from his amulet even though noone but him knows the source of his great powers - Skeletor believes that Khan simply has a superior fighting technique and is "tougher" than he appears to be.

  5. When he is alone with the other snakemen - while Skeletor attends other matters - Khan reveals his plot for Eternian domination of the Snakemen but leaves out the fact that he wants to usurp Hiss' position. Rattlor etc. swear allegiance to him and accept him as their commander.

    However, Khan needs to overcome Skeletor and therefore allies himself with Evil-Lyn to whom he promises "powers beyond her wildest dreams" in a future Snake Empire. Together they study ancient scripts about the power of Skeletor's havoc staff and get to know about some magic armwrists of a former High Priest of Zalesia who wielded the Havoc Staff a long time ago... these armwrists prevented that the dark lich magic of the staff was ever used against the priest himself, neutralizing its effects (he created these armwrists because he did not trust his followers and students). Khan and Lyn find out that the High Priest was buried with his full armor and ornaments beneath his temple in Zalesia. Khan wants to excavate the tomb of this wizard to get the armwrists so that he is able to defeat Skeletor while neutralizing the power of the Havoc Staff. Khan persuades Skeletor to let him search for a long lost artefact in Zalesia (the Ram Stone) with which Skeletor might be able to conquer Grayskull... Skeletor has little hope in acquiring this artefact as he had searched for it before - in vain - but he allows Khan to lead an expedition unit to Zalesia. But as he does not fully trust Khan he lets Trap-Jaw, Tri-Klops and Evil-Lyn accompany the snakemen.

    In Zalesia Khan and Lyn want to get rid of Trap-Jaw and Tri-Klops so that they cannot report to Skeletor about the true goal of their "visit". In one of the ruined buildings Khan lets Evil-Lyn prepare some pillars that are supposed to crumble when Trap-Jaw and Tri-Klops pass between them. It works...Tri-Klops gets stuck between the falling pillar pieces, but before he can get totally buried Kobra Khan jumps in and saves him from death... Tri-Klops is amazed by Khan's strength and asks him how he could ever thank him for saving his life. Khan simply says that there might be a time for that; but Tri-Klops has to tend to his injuries now (broken leg etc.). Khan asks Trap-Jaw to accompany him back to Snake Mountain (using a landshark or something similar). Then the rest of the group search for the tomb, excavate it and Khan gets the armwrists...

    Some time later Khan talks so boldly to Skeletor in Snake Mountain (to test the armwrists) that Skeletor blasts him with his Havoc Staff. Khan seems to absorb the blow without being phased by it at all. Khan challenges Skeletor to a wrestling match while claiming that the Havoc Staff has no effects when being used against him as he - as a snakeman - is the true Lord of Snake Mountain. Skeletor gets furious and commands his minions to attack Khan. But Evil-Lyn interrupts him and says that it is Skeletor's task to proof his superiority and leadership. Tri-Klops (who still owes Khan) expresses the same opinion. When Beastman - who is absolutely loyal to his master - wants to jump Khan from behind, Tongue Lashor catches him in mid-air with his tongue and holds him back while Khan mocks Skeletor that he is too afraid to confront him in a wrestling match man-to-man.

    Skeletor - seeing his authority being undermined - accepts the challenge; but before the battle is on he enhances his physical powers through his havoc staff .... they wrestle... Khan gloriously wins (referring to the full "uncoiling" potential of his amulet for the first time) and forces Skeletor into submission... he offers him either to live and see his nemesis He-Man fall while serving him or to die defying him ((while Skeletor is being hold in a torture rack)). Skeletor decides to serve Khan - while already thinking about a scheme to overpower him again....

  6. Khan claims the throne of Snake Mountain... he forces Skeletor to teach him lessons in the dark arts... but he wants to rule over all Eternia and all Snakeman... and the key to this goal is He-Man... he lures He-Man to Snake Mountain letting him know that the cosmic balance is at stake because he imprisoned Zodak... He-Man comes to Snake Mountain and is challenged by Khan... Khan wrestles him into submission and claims the power sword... the power sword is the key to defeat King Hiss as it is the sword of King Grayskull... Khan gets to know that the one who can injure Hiss with this weapon and get a sample of his blood (while Hiss is in his 5 snake head form) is able to force Hiss back into his human form so that he is much easier to beat...

    The void is opened again....Hiss is freed and immediately exclaims his dominion over all Eternia and all creatures on the planet.... Khan however tells him that he has to serve him as Hiss is just a King while he is a Khan = an emperor. Hiss laughs about the "boldness of this puny midget whom he will devour now"... Hiss transforms... Skeletor, Evil-Lyn and even Khan are shocked by the demonic proportion of this transformation and step back from him...Hiss uses this moment of surprise to let one of his snake arms grow to grab Khan. Khan loses the grip on the sword and is hoisted into the air...

    Hiss (while being sure of his victory) addresses Skeletor: "Who are you, skullface?" "I am Skeletor, Overlord of..." Hiss interrupts him: "you are my slave now...tell me where Rattlor and my other snakemen are" "they are here in Snake Mountain" "Then get them, fool...they shall witness the death of this impudent worm" Skeletor leaves... In the meantime, however, Khan was able to free his left arm from Hiss' coiling grip... he waits for Skeletor, Rattlor etc. to reappear while Hiss constantly mocks him...when they return and Hiss proclaims to devour him, Khan uses his magic skills (that he learned from Skeletor) to let the power sword "jump" into his hand... Khan is able to cut off the snake arm that holds him with it and gets a taste of Hiss blood (letting it drip in his mouth)...

    While Hiss is about to let the cut-off arm regrow while expressing that Khans feeble attempts to defeat him will be fruitless, Khan casts a magic spell ((reformatio immediatus or something similar)) and Hiss is transformed back into his human form.... they wrestle for supremacy.... Khan finally wins, forces Hiss and all others to kneel before him and conquers Eternia with his snake army....END of story

    1. That's quite an outline! I like the imagery of a powered-up Kobra Khan confronting and wrestling He-Man into submission. Jungle King Kazar did an amazing job when he wrote and illustrated such a scenario in his comic The Battle Beneath Snake Mountain.

      Unfortunately, something like this is way too ambitious for me to attempt at this time. I'm bound by certain limitations and have to work within them.

      I'd love to read your story in its entirety if you get it written up and posted somewhere online. I'm sure the other MOTU fans here would, too. Thanks for sharing it with us, man.

  7. Wow, you made Skeletor absolutely delicious, big, buff and naked! Thank you so much!